The editor also wanted more of a sense of Alex, and I put in a scene a couple of days after they meet, where Alex tells Miranda a story about his family. He and Miranda make eye contact, and Miranda gets a glimpse of the pain and anger Alex feels.
Finally, the editor wanted more of a sense of what was going on in the world, a world Alex has seen, but Miranda knows about only from what she hears on the radio.
With all that in mind, I revised Miranda and Alex talking about Tulsa for a third, and I sincerely hope last, time. So here's version the first, version the second, and version the last. I hope the differences, none of which are huge, have made the book better.
Number One:
"Who was in Tulsa?" I asked. "Or did you just pass through there."
"We thought we'd find our aunt and uncle," Alex said. "They'd set out for there. We spent a couple of days looking for them, but no luck."
"What was Tulsa like?" I asked. "Were there people there?"
"Oh yeah," Alex said. "Not like there used to be, I'm sure, but there were still people."
"But you didn't stay," I said. "Could you have?"
"I suppose," Alex said. "Maybe we should have. It's hard to know what to do with Julie. If we'd stayed in Tulsa, anywhere, I'd have had to to work, and that's okay. I don't mind that. But it would have meant either Julie would have to work too or she'd be left unsupervised."
"She's a good kid," I said. "She wouldn't get into trouble."
"Trouble would have found her," Alex said. "It wouldn't have been safe."
Number Two:
"Who was in Tulsa?” I asked. “Or did you just pass through there?” It was easier to ask Alex questions, since we were both facing frontward and not looking at each other.
“We thought we’d find our aunt and uncle,” Alex said. “They’d set out for there last June. We spent a couple of days looking for them, but no luck.”
“What was Tulsa like?” I asked. “Were there people there?”
“Oh yeah,” Alex said. “Not like there used to be, I’m sure, but there were still people.”
“But you didn’t stay,” I said. “Could you have?”
“I suppose,” Alex said. “Maybe we should have. It’s hard to know what to do with Julie.”
“She’s a good kid,” I said. “She wouldn’t get into trouble.”
“Trouble would have found her,” Alex said. “It wouldn’t have been safe.”
Number Three:
"Who was in Tulsa?" I asked. "Or did you just pass through there?" It was easier to ask Alex questions with both of us facing forward and no danger of eye contact.
"We thought we'd find our aunt and uncle," Alex said. "They set out for there last June. We spent a couple of days looking, but no luck."
"It's hard to picture cities," I said. "Cities with people."
"They're not like before," Alex said. "There are bodies, mostly skeletons now, piled up. Even the rats have died. And only some buildings have heat, so you share apartments."
"Are there schools?"I asked, remembering my idea about places for politicians and millionaires to live. "Hospitals? Could you and Julie have stayed there?"
Alex held onto the steering wheel a little tighter. "I could have found work at the oil fields," he said. "But I wouldn't have known what to do about Julie."
"She's a good kid," I said. "She wouldn't get into trouble."
"Trouble would have found her," Alex said. "I couldn't take that risk. So we moved on."
